Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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