i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
they need to just BURY HIM!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
