thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
