Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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