I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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