Its about making memories worth repressing
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
