Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
