I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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