I just pynch a tree in the face
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
