His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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