There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
