But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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