Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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