I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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