Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.