don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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