i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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