You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
sarcasm needs its own font
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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