Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have feelings that need drinking.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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