Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize