She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
