Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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