This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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