..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
