She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
