You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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