Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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