Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
