brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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