he shaved USA in his pubs
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
