did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
