Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
