wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
