Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
