Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
