so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
