i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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