I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
