My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
