belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
