The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
