Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
