Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
either way he was missing a nipple.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Can't talk, ducks in the car
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
