did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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