toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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