How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
