Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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