is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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