You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
