Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
