her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize