we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
