That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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