hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
