She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
