i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
