Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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