This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
