im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I have demons in me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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