fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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