its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
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You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
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My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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