My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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