Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
