Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
