We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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