I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize