Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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