my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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