Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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